It worked for a few weeks, but old habits die hard. Possibly the other roommates were allowed to live like this at home.
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What is your student able to tolerate? If the room is actually unsanitary, and bugs or worse start appearing, it's time to involve the RA. They had no shame when it came to activities reserved for the private bedroom. She learned to knock first if the door was closed. She also expressed her desire to study, relax and entertain in the room as well.
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As the semester progressed, they couple broke up and my daughter got her roommate back. If your student has a roommate with an ongoing romance from high school, she can expect her to be on the phone constantly — talking and texting. How does your student cope?
Be patient. Most high school relationships fizzle out as the student becomes more involved in college and meets new people. According to my offspring, this is the worst type of roommate. There is constant tension, but direct words are never spoken.
Most passive-aggressive behavior can be avoided by having a roommate discussion at the beginning of the year. If the roommate refuses to engage and continues the P. Sophomore year, my daughter moved in to a two-person dorm room. She didn't know her roommate and met her for the first time on move-in day.
As the weeks progressed, my daughter saw less and less of her. My daughter was basically living alone.
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She had friends across the hall and sorority sisters who lived in suites, so that's where she hung out. For students who like solitude, the Ghost might be a godsend. If not, this routine is going to get old very fast. Have a conversation. You're not trying to ruin the roommate's fun, but it's reasonable to agree on quiet hours, both at night and in the morning. She takes things without asking and rarely returns borrowed items. My daughter lived with a Mooch senior year. She tried her best to set boundaries once she realized there were none.
They settled on certain items that were shareable and others that were not — such as food she'd purchased, her jewelry and her shoes. Once her roommate understood and agreed to these limits, there were few disputes. If your student's freshman living situation isn't ideal, advise them to be proactive to improve things — and take heart.
Few people leave college without rooming with their perfect match at some point along the way.
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